Grocery Shopping, Concerned Strangers, and No Naps....Oh My!

Today was grocery day. It started out so well....I got everything I needed for $55.94, saved $9.04, and only bought whole foods for some yummy from scratch cooking (including shrimp one night and steak another!!!). I finished my shopping in less than an hour with both kiddos. I did conclude that next week I should start going to two different stores again (on two different days) so I can get certain types of items for a better price.

It was what happened while I was grocery shopping that bugged me. A woman in the grocery store saw me wearing John in the Moby Wrap and was very concerned that I was smothering him. I tried to explain that he was perfectly safe, but she didn't seem to be listening and eventually walked off. This has happened before about the same thing! I had the kids at an outdoor festival, and John was in the black swim wrap because it is very thin and breathable. Two ladies standing maybe 3 feet away from me were staring and pointing at me with obvious concern that I was smothering him or that he would get heat stroke. I have also had concerned strangers look at Jessica strangely when she doesn't talk to them. I have to admit I find it rather annoying and upsetting to hear/see strangers "concerned" about what I am doing as a parent. Parenting is hard enough without random strangers being critical of what you are doing! Maybe I need some sort of sign or t-shirt....

Finally this afternoon neither of the kids really napped. John took some cat naps, but I was really hoping for a little time away from everyone to decompress! On the brightside Jessica has started giving herself reading time when she doesn't nap....but I am still nervous that she will come up with something destructive to do that I haven't thought of as long as she is awake!

Grocery Day!

Today was my first grocery shopping trip since having John in which I am trying to cook almost completely from scratch and stick to our budget (if not under cut our budget)! Cooking from scratch to me means using only whole foods (carrots, potatoes, milk, chicken, etc). Most of the time I get them as fresh and unprocessed as possible; however, this time I did purchase a few frozen veggies and pre-cut chicken pieces as well as a couple pre-packaged items for convenience while we have friends and family in town. Our budget has waffled between $100 and $400 a month for all household expenses depending on our economic and medical situation. Currently, it is on the books at $300, but I frequently under cut that and can do it on $200 a month.

Thoughts on my grocery trip: I usually go to two different stores, but since I had both of the kids with me, I only went to Publix because 1) They had about half of the items I needed on sale. 2) They have much better looking produce than the local Wal-mart. and 3) As a mom taking 2 kids to the grocery I appreciate getting help out to the car and free cookies in the deli! On the whole it was a very pleasant shopping experience, and I finished in less than an hour!! I was a little disappointed with the amount I spent: $101.93. (I did save $21) However, considering we will have friends and family over this week and will need more food and a little more convenience (and I didn't get to plant a garden this spring), I really did pretty well! Next week though I am hoping for a much lower bill and even more from scratch cooking (although most people wouldn't consider what I bought this week to be convenience food). Everyone in our house is happy to see that my energy has returned with the birth of baby John and with it the return of the healthy, from scratch, home cookin' we all like so much!!

Reflections

The other night (when I was up in the middle of the night feeding John) I read an article in a Reader's Digest a friend had passed on to me. The article was called The Cheapest People in America. I know there are many people in America that are cheaper than me; however, apparently I have crossed some kind of threshold when I impress my mother and my grandmother (the queen of all things frugal -- no seriously). At any rate, my curiosity was peaked!

"Tightwads feel guilty spending money. Frugal folk have fun saving." I think I fall into the second camp. I enjoy seeing how much we can save so that we have the funds to pay down debt, have me stay home with our children, purchase books and tools with which to learn new things, enjoy social outings with friends, etc. You will never make enough money to buy everything you want, but if you are careful with your money, you can have what you really want most. Even when we were making very little, we were always able to scrap together enough money to occasionally buy some books!

"The secret about cheap people: They aren't necessarily cheap on all fronts. Some spring for educations or vacations, or they are generous with others if not with themselves." We tend to spring for things that are important to us. Being debt free and having me stay home with our children are two things that have been important to us since we got out of school. Having some discretionary funds for learning and social outings has been important to us as a family since we got married. We both highly value education (and not just book learning), and we both tend to be somewhat introverted, so we try to attend social gatherings that we both find comfortable (like going out to eat with friends).

The last thing that I found particularly noteworthy is how completely immoral some people are! It's one thing if you get a good deal on a purchase, but it is another thing to lie so that you can have something for free! For example, there are apparently lots of people who keep a McDonald's coffee cup in their car so they can get free refills even though it is supposed to be per visit! Some people empty out condiments to take home from restaurants (Now I do save our leftover napkins and condiments, but only the ones we did not end up using that will be thrown away after we leave!) The article also mentioned a man who would come back into the movie theater holding his glasses and saying, "I found them" so that he could get into the movie free!! That's just cheating!

Marriage counselors will tell you that the top 3 biggest problems in marriages are money, extended family, and sex. A psychologist quoted in the article said that "Couples often drive each other crazy when they're Jack Sprattish in terms of spending." David and I both like to save money; however, we tend to have differing ideas on how much to save versus how much to spend. I tend to want to save everything, and David wants to occasionally enjoy some of the money he has made. However, finances has never been a problem area for us. We both see the value of each other's perspective and try to find a happy balance. ...It also helps that I could never tell him not to buy something he wants.....I might give him a list of reasons that it might not be the best choice, but I would be hard pressed to deny him something he wants.....I am weak like that! ;-)

Saving Money on Medical Bills

I suppose there are many ways you could choose to save money on medical bills; however, some of those ways could be detrimental to you health...such as not getting treatment for an ailment that requires immediate treatment. There is one thing that I do that does not negatively affect our health and that ends up saving us hundreds of dollars every year on medical expenses. I always pay by credit card over the phone and ask each company if they will give me a discount for paying the amount in full. Surprisingly, most of the time I can get a discount of close to 25% after our insurance has paid (If it was not covered by our insurance, I can usually get close to 50% off)!!! I was doing this the other day, and David asked "Why in the world are you asking for a discount?" I told him that asking for a discount has saved us lots of money in medical bills over the last several years but that the companies won't offer it unless you ask....he was quite impressed! :-)

Crafty Christmas Gifts

My sister, Kim, is the craftiest person I know! She almost always makes me something for Christmas, and I always LOVE it! Here are pictures of my favorite three gifts she has recently given me. You can tell just how crafty she is because all three employ distinctly different skills.

An afghan Kim crocheted for me last year....isn't it cheerful?!?!

A gorgeous black skirt Kim sewed for me!

A pitcher she decorated for me!

This last picture I feel requires a bit more of an explanation. She took a pitcher she gotten at TJ Max for cheap and used some special pens to write the quote and draw the butterflies. The quote on it is, "Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it; the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things; it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." by Henry David Thoreau. I absolutely LOVE the transcendentalist writers, so it was the perfect gift! I told her she needed to make me an entire set, but so far I have not received any more pieces. :-( Don't you think my sister is one of the craftiest people ever?!?!?!

Re-purposed Tights

I am really not that tall, but David was laying down when he took the picture.

I am planning to get some maternity leggings at some point in the near future, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. In the meantime I realized that I could probably re-purpose an old pair of black dance tights that I had left over from college! I cut the feet off (and made a cut in the waist band because it was too snug!), and then I used my all time favorite, Frey Check, on the cut edges. That's it! It ended up working out great, but I don't think I will be able to wear them for much longer as my thighs and lower abdomen keep expanding! However, it will work out great until I can manage to find a pair of maternity leggings!! (Yes, I could probably get larger sized tights but given that my weight gain tends to be limited to my thighs and lower abdomen, maternity leggings would probably fit better!)

They ended up riding up a bit during the day but not bad!

Money Saving Monday: Christmas Gifts

Yes, I know. This makes two Christmas posts before November, but like I said, you have to start early when you do a homemade Christmas! Truth be told, not ALL of our Christmas is homemade, but this year most of it is. When we first got married (and made $11,000 the first year), we had 38 people to shop for and obviously no money to do it with!! I scrounged together $38 and did a pretty decent job in my opinion!

Perhaps because of that first Christmas together and perhaps because of how commercialized Christmas has become, David and I decided that (at least as long as we can manage it) Christmas for our children will be a mostly homemade affair, like it used to be, but more about that in another post. Today I wanted to talk about some of the different ideas I have used for Christmas gifts when we didn't have a lot of money to spend.

1. Cracker Barrel!!! If you have never checked out Cracker Barrel's after Christmas sale, you are totally missing out!!!!! They have adorable ornaments that they sell for 75% off after Christmas. They make great gifts for the next Christmas (or if you are celebrating late), and you can often get an adorable ornament for $1 or less!

2. Walgreens also has great after Christmas sales. I have been known to buy Christmas decorations 75% off and give them for Christmas the next year: dishes, card sets, small trees, winter house sets, photo albums, etc. They also frequently have blankets, pj pants, etc. on sale for 2 for $5. You can then personalize these items if you know how to embroider. I gave my great-grandmother one of those blankets and emrbroidered "Grandmother" on it. She absolutely loved it and used it until the day she died. She always commented on it whenever I came to visit.

3. Walmart also usually has great sales on movies and computer games. I have seen some for as little as $1!

4. I often do baskets of homemade hot chocolate mix, mugs, homemade chocolate spoons, etc. I usually get supplies (baskets, mugs, etc.) for these either at dollar stores or on sale after Christmas at places like Garden Ridge. These also travel very well, and if i do say so myself, no store-bought hot chocolate mix holds a candle to my homemade mix!!!

5. We have recently done some woodworking and sewing for different Christmas gifts: pizza paddle, wooden basket, wooden spoons, napkin rings, cloth napkins, puzzle, blocks, etc. I have also received some lovely homemade gifts from my sister and my mother: pajamas, gorgeous skirts, afgans, etc.

6. For neighbors and people who live close by, I usually give edibles. Some of my favorites are: homemade hot chocolate mix, homemade boiled custard (It's like egg nog only better! You can only get it in Tennessee, Virginia, and North Carolina, I believe. I will share more about that later as well!), cookies, fudge, etc.

I am very excited about the gifts we have planned for this year! It is going to be a lot of fun getting everything made! Stay tuned to see what is going on in our franchise of Santa's Workshop!!!!

Money Saving Monday: Bumgenius Second Hand

We LOVE our bumgenius diapers! They really help with Jessica's heat rash. Babysitters are willing to use them!!!! They save us tons of money, and they are just so darn cute!!!! What is cuter than a little baby tottering around with an enormous caboose??? (Most especially if the enormous caboose comes in all different sorts of colors!!!)

See what I mean???

I was so excited this weekend to find a place online that sells used bumgenius diapers at half the price! Unfortunately, it looks like they do not have any available currently! However, all of the reviews stated that they were in very good condition and only some of them needed minor repair work done! Perhaps I will find a deal like that again soon from Cotton Babies!

Money Saving Monday: Making Soap!

This weekend I finally took the beef fat (tallow) out of the freezer and made soap the old fashioned way (using fat, lye, and water)! This was my first time making soap. I might have over done it on the safety gear! It really wasn't as dangerous or as messy as people make it look as long as you know what you are doing (which I did since I had read Soap by Ann Bramson).

Me all decked out in my safety gear!

I chose to make castile soap. It called for 32 oz of water, 11 oz lye, 60 oz tallow, and 26 oz of olive oil. The ounces are measured using a scale NOT fluid ounces. This is very important!!!

The lye mixture

First I measured out the lye and water into a glass bowl that I had placed in the sink. Lye mixed with water gets very hot, very quickly so I didn't want to have to move the container after mixing it! It was also important to stir the mixture with a wooden spoon to make sure it got mixed well. Next I combined the tallow and olive oil by heating it in a large pot.

Combining the tallow and olive oil.

It is also very important what types of containers and spoons you use, because the lye mixture can "melt" aluminum pans due to its caustic nature. I chose to use an enamel pot (although I think you can also use stainless steel), a glass bowl (due to the intense heat), and a wooden spoon. Once the lye mixture and the oil mixture were both between 95 and 98 degrees, I combined them by slowly pouring the lye mixture into the oil mixture while stirring constantly. I stirred the mixture until it traced (meaning you could draw pictures with the droplets falling off the spoon), which took about an hour.

To protect my counter tops, I put down a towel covered with wax paper. It really wasn't that messy. Next time I might just lay down a towel.

Finally I used a stainless steel measuring cup to scoop the soap out into a bunch of old 8 oz sour cream containers (and a few butter containers when I ran out!) I covered them with the lids and placed towels on top of the containers to trap in the heat.

The final product!

The next day I uncovered them and found this beautiful soap!! It needs to cure for at least 2-4 weeks before it will be ready to use. Currently it is laying out uncovered on top of my kitchen cabinets with a light towel over them to keep out dirt. In about a month, I will take the soap out of the molds. There may be a light, white dust covering the soap. This is called washing soda, basically a more intense form of baking soda. I can either use it as is or try to dust some of it off to use in the laundry. I personally wouldn't use it for cooking. I suppose there isn't anything wrong with it, but I am just not comfortable with it!

And there you have it! My first attempt at making soap! It was much easier than I had anticipated! It was also fun, educational, AND economical! What more can you ask for?!?!?! I already had pretty much all of the supplies in my kitchen, and the ingredients cost me very little in comparison to purchasing soap! The expense of making soap really comes down to how much you are willing to spend. The next recipe I would like to try would only cost me the price of the lye, unless I choose to make my own lye. Hmmmm.....now there's a thought! Oh and if you were wondering what my husband's reaction was to all of this, he said, "Wow, it actually feels like soap!"

Money Saving Monday: Mending

My mother says I have an awesome hand-stitch. She has had me repair rips in her upholstery before. Amazingly enough, you really can't tell where the rips are! As tiny as my hand-stitch is though, I do not like doing the mending! I like to create something new not repair something old! Where is the creativity in that? However, mending something you already own is much cheaper than buying something new. Therefore, I have devised a plan to make mending more bearable! We take four trips a year to see family, which is a 9 hour drive one way. While my daughter is playing with her toys in the backseat, and my husband is listening to talk radio, lectures, and music, I mend our clothes! It has worked out perfectly for me because it gives me something to do with my hands, and I can discuss with my husband whatever he is listening to! It also frees up the precious time that I am not trapped in a car for 9 hours at a time to get other things accomplished!

Money Saving Monday: Trash Bags

I quit buying garbage bags 2 years ago. I had thrown out our kitchen trashcan when we moved because it stank!! I started using old Wal-mart bags hung on a door knob just until I could get around to buying another trashcan; however, I never did get around to it! This has worked out particularly well when we use disposable diapers because the bags do not hold very much so it gets emptied about every other day! While a lot of people are going towards reusable grocery bags, I am saving money by reusing old plastic bags! Sometimes I get a rather large collection of plastic bags. I have considered crocheting handbags out of them. I have seen a couple patterns online that looked cute!

Money Saving Monday: Coupon Clipping

Someone recently mentioned in a comment that they save a lot of money clipping coupons. We use coupons in our house, but I do have trouble sometimes finding coupons for the items we typically buy so I thought I would list some of the coupon sites I have found online in hopes that some of you would post others that I do not know about!

SmartSource.com
Money Saving Mom
Coupon Cabin
Fat Wallet

Most of these seem to have a lot of the same coupons. The site that has been the most helpful for us though is ShopLocal.com! It allows you to search sale circulars for all of the stores in your zip code! Within 30 minutes of our house, our grocery shopping options are Wal-mart, Publix, and Winn-Dixie. Wal-mart usually has the lowest prices; however, Publix routinely runs killer deals on things like milk and meat, two items I routinely have trouble finding coupons for! Publix also has a baby club that frequently sends me coupons for fresh meat and milk! I also like Shop Local because they include sales circulars for all kinds of stores not just grocery stores.

Another idea I am about to try is trying to make use of a local butcher and farmer's market. I found an ad for a local butcher shop, and the prices looked great! It will require a little bit more work on my part, but I think it might be worth it! I had also thought that I might could stock up on vegetables at a farmer's market this summer and freeze or can them for the winter.

The best way to get great deals on purchases really seems to vary from person to person based on what you typically buy. Please share how you get your good deals!

10 Things that Cut Costs

With the economy on everyone's mind, many people are searching for yet one more way to cut household expenses. These are 10 things we have done to cut costs over the years at our house. Feel free to post any ways you have been able to cut costs around your house.

1. Cut out Cable TV
2. Use cloth diapers
3. Grocery shop once a month (saves on gas and fewer impulse buys)
4. Learn to cook using cheap cuts of meat
5. Ration expensive foods like milk and meat but so you still meet your dietary needs
6. Use homemade wipes
7. Do repairs yourself
8. Don't go shopping unless you really need something and only with a list
9. Stay home
10. Limit expenses to: food, shelter, electricity, gas, maintenance, insurance, and phone/internet (personal preference)

Front Porch Friday: Money, Money, Money!

I thought this Front Porch Friday I might reflect back on the experiences in my life that have shaped the way I view and manage money. I have given this topic more thought recently as David and I have discussed what and how we will teach our children about money, particularly considering the current state of the economy.

I was born at a time when my parents did not have a lot of money. There were points where my mother says we were almost eligible for food stamps, which I have heard it was a little harder to qualify for food stamps at that time. My mother could make a pound of ground beef last five meals! She and her grandmother made a lot of me and my sister's clothes. As a child, I remember going out to eat was really something special, and buying brand new store bought clothes was a real occasion! I also learned that no matter how little you have, there is always someone else who has less than you that you could share what you have with. I remember one night picking out some of our toys with my sister to give to a man we had met at church so his children would get something for Christmas. Another thing I have noticed when looking back is that we were truly happy. We learned to be happy and thankful for what we had and not worry about the stuff we didn't have.

Over the early years of my childhood, my parents had more children (I have 4 siblings.), and our financial situation also slowly improved. However, our lifestyle only improved marginally. My parents had several goals such as educating their children in a Christian environment, and in order to achieve those goals, it meant continuing to live a somewhat frugal lifestyle. During much of my childhood I thought we were poor because the other kids at school received video games and other expensive toys for Christmas. My mother finally explained to me that we were not poor but that they chose to give us a lot of brothers and sisters instead. It was at that moment that I realized that you will never have enough money to buy everything you want and that it comes down to choosing the things that are most important to you and being happy with what you have. I think I received the better gift (my siblings) in comparison to many of my classmates who received nice clothes and toys every year.

As I became an adult, my parents situation continued to improve, and my youngest siblings have not been raised with quite as much emphasis on frugality. I have come to realize that my parents taught me three great lessons: 1) How to make the most of what you have 2) How to be happy with what you have and 3) I learned to be comfortable rubbing shoulders with people from a variety of financial backgrounds. All of these lessons have proved to be exceptionally useful in my adult life.

The first year my husband and I were married we made a collective income of $11,000 for the year! We chose not to seek any government assistance because my husband is a pull yourself up by your own boot straps sort of person. He felt that if we chose to get married even though we knew we would have a hard time financially the first year that we should suffer the consequences of that decision. I have to say it makes me feel good to look back at that year because I know now that no matter what happens we can make it. I do think that year was easier for me because of the lessons I had learned about money as a child. I also believe that very few of our friends were aware of just how little we made that first year because we were able to make the most of what we had.

Today we make significantly more than $11,000 a year, but we still choose to live frugally because of the goals we have: paying off student loans, paying off mortgages, and me staying home with our children. We also hope that our children will grow up learning some of the same lessons I learned growing up by watching the choices we make concerning our money and listening to our prayers. I have concluded that one of the great benefits of prayer is the time of reflection on all of the things you have been blessed with. If we don't have a time where we reflect on all that we have, we will get caught up in all that we want but don't have. I will leave you with a song my mother used to sing to us as children:

When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings, name them one by one
and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.