Although we weren't incredibly busy this past weekend, it felt busy. Partly because David was home for 4 days due to the holiday, but part of it was due to the things I was thinking about, namely Jessica's speech therapy. Jessica is a truly amazing kid. We have not had one bit of jealous behavior out of Jessica with the birth of baby John. She is always very sweet and kind, not only to her baby brother, but anyone she is around....well, except for when she doesn't see a kid standing there and accidentally runs over them! She has always been like this.
I remember one time when she was about 20 months old, she saw a special needs baby at the Open Gym we sometimes go play at, and she thought that baby was just the coolest thing and wanted to sit there and play/talk to the baby instead of playing with all of the cool gym equipment. Jessica is typically more interested in things of a mechanical nature rather than of a social nature, so I was particularly surprised by that instance. Having worked as a School Psychologist, I was particularly touched to see how Jessica reacted to a baby that clearly looked different. I know some of that is just natural because while young children are born curious, they are not born prejudice; however, they are also not born knowing appropriate social skills, which is clearly evident in the toddler years!
I think, in some ways, we have been able to enjoy Jessica being a baby for longer than most parents because of her speech delay. It is bittersweet. I am truly treasuring this time that we have with her being the sweet, kindhearted child that she is, and I hope that much of that will remain with her as she grows up. However, it has also been kind of scary. I knew from the time Jessica was a month or two old that we were going to have some challenges at some point with learning. Don't get me wrong, she is an incredibly smart 2 year old. She can solve mechanical problems the average 5 year old can't solve. She can also work 50 piece puzzles. However, we have had to fight tooth and nail for almost every word in her vocabulary.
Many times when people are talking about speech therapy for a young child, they are talking about an articulation problem. Basically they have trouble with some of the sounds. Jessica does not have that problem. We think it could be some kind of Central Auditory Processing problem. It's like she cannot learn things orally. It's incredibly difficult to get her attention. The Speech Therapist's report said that it required maximum effort to get Jessica's attention. Also the way she has been learning language is really, really weird. Even the Speech Therapist thought it was odd. You know how most kids learn lots of nouns first? Well, Jessica started out with some of every part of speech...even articles.
I fully expected for Jessica to have trouble once she entered school with paying attention and anything that required oral learning, but I did not expect learning to talk to be such a struggle for her. A friend of mine, who is a Kindergarten teacher summed it up best: Jessica's first language is math, and it is like she is learning English as a second language. At this point, I don't know where we are going next. All I know is that I need to keep my eyes on the ball and work really hard at home to help emphasize what we are doing in speech and take it one day at a time.
The area we are in has excellent schools; however, support services tend to be more on par with what I was used to in Mississippi. I know (from talking with other professionals in the area) that I am the most qualified person in the area to work with Jessica. Honestly, I have to say in some ways I wouldn't want it any other way. I know myself as a professional and as a parent, and I wouldn't want to give that responsibility to anyone else. However, I also have to say that it is very....intimidating to be the one responsible for working with your own child....especially when I don't recall working with a child in the ADHD-type realm that was this severe.
Parenting is not for the faint-hearted. It will bring any insecurity you have straight to the surface. Now to get some sleep and have a smiling face in the morning.
Showing posts with label School Pyschology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School Pyschology. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
She Speaks!
Jessica has been "talking" since she was about a year old....meaning she has been acquiring a vocabulary. However, she has not really used this vocabulary to communicate thoughts until the last week or so. This has been rather frustrating on multiple levels 1) It is hard to figure out what she is trying to communicate without words 2) I get tired of people thinking she is autistic just because she hasn't been communicating verbally and 3) I am just dying to hear what is going on in that little head of hers!! This week I have heard a couple new words such as peach and keys, and today she saw birds as we were driving and said "Birds." This may not seem like a huge deal to some people, but although she has known the word "birds" for quite a while, she has never told us about seeing birds without any sort of prompting from us.
Jessica's language skills have been developing in a rather interesting fashion. She has an average sized vocabulary for a child her age, but until recently has not really used that vocabulary to communicate thoughts. She has been far too busy exploring the world around her and figuring out how to do things to waste her time talking about them! Also, most children learn lots of nouns, and then they move on to learning lots of verbs. Jessica's vocabulary has always included a wide variety of parts of speech. From what little she does say, it is obvious that she has a great propensity for grammar (much to her mother's pride)! I actually don't find this part too surprising. David and I are both spatially/math oriented, and grammar is more of a spatial/math skill than a verbal skill. Yet another way in which my School Psychology world collides with my new career as Stay-at-Home Mom!!! (I am sure other moms aren't as nerdy about this kind of thing as I am!)
Jessica, at almost 26 months your dad and I are absolutely ecstatic to see you taking these first steps in the direction of verbal communication! What is truly amazing is all you have learned prior to learning to communicating verbally: potty training, please/thank you, unloading the dishwasher, making oatmeal, eating anything and everything like a big girl, picking up your toys, etc. You are an amazing kid and most definitely march to the beat of your own drum! May the music you play always be filled with joy!
Jessica's language skills have been developing in a rather interesting fashion. She has an average sized vocabulary for a child her age, but until recently has not really used that vocabulary to communicate thoughts. She has been far too busy exploring the world around her and figuring out how to do things to waste her time talking about them! Also, most children learn lots of nouns, and then they move on to learning lots of verbs. Jessica's vocabulary has always included a wide variety of parts of speech. From what little she does say, it is obvious that she has a great propensity for grammar (much to her mother's pride)! I actually don't find this part too surprising. David and I are both spatially/math oriented, and grammar is more of a spatial/math skill than a verbal skill. Yet another way in which my School Psychology world collides with my new career as Stay-at-Home Mom!!! (I am sure other moms aren't as nerdy about this kind of thing as I am!)
Jessica, at almost 26 months your dad and I are absolutely ecstatic to see you taking these first steps in the direction of verbal communication! What is truly amazing is all you have learned prior to learning to communicating verbally: potty training, please/thank you, unloading the dishwasher, making oatmeal, eating anything and everything like a big girl, picking up your toys, etc. You are an amazing kid and most definitely march to the beat of your own drum! May the music you play always be filled with joy!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Let Me Be Critical For a Moment
Let me be critical for a moment of School Psychology, the Mental Health Profession, and yes even society at large. Perhaps we spend too much time focusing on what is "wrong" with children and trying to "fix" them instead of appreciating all of their wonderful gifts. I really think it would be better if we just recognized that all people are different and tried to be sensitive to those differences. There are so many wonderful, precious children out there with extraordinary qualities who only hear from others about what is "wrong with them." I personally choose to believe that God made all people with certain strengths and weaknesses for a special purpose. Shame on us for expecting children to fit into a box and labeling them as "disordered" when they do not!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Behavior Management
I was talking to a friend today on the phone and came to the realization that the way we manage behavior is a little different from most parents (once again thanks to my School Psychology background). She was really interested in how we had been managing Jessica's behavior and how I thought that might look in the next several years so I thought I would write a post about how we currently manage Jessica's behavior and what we plan to do in the future.
Our First House Rule
Until Jessica was almost a year old, we just redirected her or kept whatever it was out of her reach. "No" was not a word she heard often because it was not necessary. Beginning around her first birthday, we introduced the first house rule, "Stay out of the fireplace." Beginning with that first rule, we tried to make sure the rules were positively stated so we were telling her what to do instead of what not to do. For example, if the rule is "We sit in chairs," the child cannot very well stand in a chair if he is sitting. However, if the rule was "Don't stand on chairs," then the child could conceivably do a headstand in the chair!
Our Version of Time-Out
We also introduced time-out at this point in time, and apparently we do time-out differently from most people I know, thanks to my School Psychology background. Let me give you an example of a school-aged child first, and then I will explain it a little further. If John throws a pencil at me, then I will say, "John, you are in time-out for throwing a pencil at me." Typically I will place him in a chair away from other students, toys, etc. Then I will either stand near him and completely ignore him or I will do something else. As soon as his hands, feet, and mouth are quiet, I will say "John, your hands, feet, and mouth are quiet. You are out of time-out. John, hand me the pencil." If John hands me the pencil then the incident is over. If he chooses not to hand me the pencil or if he throws the pencil at me, then he goes right back to time-out and we repeat the process until he hands me the pencil.
How Time-Out Looks in Our House
This is the same process we use with Jessica. If Jessica tries to crawl into the fireplace then we say "Jessica, you are in time-out for getting in the fireplace." Then we place her in her pack-n-play and walk away. (She hates being confined, and it keeps her bed from being a place she associates with getting in trouble. Eventually we will switch from the pack-n-play to a mat that can be folded up in my purse.) As soon as her hands, feet, and mouth are quiet then she can get out. The first time we used time-out, I had to get her out when she went to take a big breath before the next scream and tell her how glad I was her hands, feet, and mouth were quiet! Once she was out, if she went back to the fireplace then we started the process all over again.
This has worked very well for her. She realizes that she is not going to get the things she wants (playing with toys, attention from us, etc) if she tries to get in the fireplace. She also has an opportunity to calm down so we usually don't experience too many tantrums outside of time-out. It also helps us keep from feeling overwhelmed with trying to teach our child how to behave because we only use time-out when she breaks a house rule! Overall, it makes the entire experience very non-emotional. One thing that can trip you up is if you don't provide enough positive attention when the child is following the rules. It can be difficult to remember to do that when they are playing nicely, but it helps create a stark contrast between time-out and time-in (when they are following the rules). Overall, the key is to be consistent!
The Evolution of House Rules
In order to help us be as consistent as possible and to keep us from feeling like we have to teach our child how to behave perfectly all at once, we try to limit ourselves to 3 (or less) house rules. Some day we might have as many as 5, but I don't think I (much less a small child) could remember more than 5! We currently have 3 house rules: Stay out of the fireplace, We sit in chairs, and We leave the furniture assembled. Right now, the rules are more a reminder for me to remember what constitutes her going to time-out, but eventually we will review the house rules at least once every day so that she will remember them as well. By that time, the rules will probably be something more like: Do it the first time, Keep hands, feet, and objects to yourself, etc. I always try to make sure the rules are positive, specific, and easily understood.
In the Future
In the future, I have thought about switching Jessica over to a token economy, whether it is stickers, pennies, TV time, etc. where she can earn a lot of positives during the day but also have those positives taken away if she breaks a house rule. I have also considered switching her to job card grounding. With that if you break a house rule, you draw a job card. You can do the job whenever you like, but you do not get to do anything that you want to do until that job is done. It is like time-out for older kids.
Outside of Our Home
Currently when we are not at home, we simply redirect Jessica. We encourage her to say please and thank you, but we don't push it. I also give her choices. For example, she can choose to hold my hand, or I can carry her. Eventually, we will have to come up with some other strategies, but we still have a few months. I am still a little undecided about what that will actually look like.
Our First House Rule
Until Jessica was almost a year old, we just redirected her or kept whatever it was out of her reach. "No" was not a word she heard often because it was not necessary. Beginning around her first birthday, we introduced the first house rule, "Stay out of the fireplace." Beginning with that first rule, we tried to make sure the rules were positively stated so we were telling her what to do instead of what not to do. For example, if the rule is "We sit in chairs," the child cannot very well stand in a chair if he is sitting. However, if the rule was "Don't stand on chairs," then the child could conceivably do a headstand in the chair!
Our Version of Time-Out
We also introduced time-out at this point in time, and apparently we do time-out differently from most people I know, thanks to my School Psychology background. Let me give you an example of a school-aged child first, and then I will explain it a little further. If John throws a pencil at me, then I will say, "John, you are in time-out for throwing a pencil at me." Typically I will place him in a chair away from other students, toys, etc. Then I will either stand near him and completely ignore him or I will do something else. As soon as his hands, feet, and mouth are quiet, I will say "John, your hands, feet, and mouth are quiet. You are out of time-out. John, hand me the pencil." If John hands me the pencil then the incident is over. If he chooses not to hand me the pencil or if he throws the pencil at me, then he goes right back to time-out and we repeat the process until he hands me the pencil.
How Time-Out Looks in Our House
This is the same process we use with Jessica. If Jessica tries to crawl into the fireplace then we say "Jessica, you are in time-out for getting in the fireplace." Then we place her in her pack-n-play and walk away. (She hates being confined, and it keeps her bed from being a place she associates with getting in trouble. Eventually we will switch from the pack-n-play to a mat that can be folded up in my purse.) As soon as her hands, feet, and mouth are quiet then she can get out. The first time we used time-out, I had to get her out when she went to take a big breath before the next scream and tell her how glad I was her hands, feet, and mouth were quiet! Once she was out, if she went back to the fireplace then we started the process all over again.
This has worked very well for her. She realizes that she is not going to get the things she wants (playing with toys, attention from us, etc) if she tries to get in the fireplace. She also has an opportunity to calm down so we usually don't experience too many tantrums outside of time-out. It also helps us keep from feeling overwhelmed with trying to teach our child how to behave because we only use time-out when she breaks a house rule! Overall, it makes the entire experience very non-emotional. One thing that can trip you up is if you don't provide enough positive attention when the child is following the rules. It can be difficult to remember to do that when they are playing nicely, but it helps create a stark contrast between time-out and time-in (when they are following the rules). Overall, the key is to be consistent!
The Evolution of House Rules
In order to help us be as consistent as possible and to keep us from feeling like we have to teach our child how to behave perfectly all at once, we try to limit ourselves to 3 (or less) house rules. Some day we might have as many as 5, but I don't think I (much less a small child) could remember more than 5! We currently have 3 house rules: Stay out of the fireplace, We sit in chairs, and We leave the furniture assembled. Right now, the rules are more a reminder for me to remember what constitutes her going to time-out, but eventually we will review the house rules at least once every day so that she will remember them as well. By that time, the rules will probably be something more like: Do it the first time, Keep hands, feet, and objects to yourself, etc. I always try to make sure the rules are positive, specific, and easily understood.
In the Future
In the future, I have thought about switching Jessica over to a token economy, whether it is stickers, pennies, TV time, etc. where she can earn a lot of positives during the day but also have those positives taken away if she breaks a house rule. I have also considered switching her to job card grounding. With that if you break a house rule, you draw a job card. You can do the job whenever you like, but you do not get to do anything that you want to do until that job is done. It is like time-out for older kids.
Outside of Our Home
Currently when we are not at home, we simply redirect Jessica. We encourage her to say please and thank you, but we don't push it. I also give her choices. For example, she can choose to hold my hand, or I can carry her. Eventually, we will have to come up with some other strategies, but we still have a few months. I am still a little undecided about what that will actually look like.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
ADHD
I try not to talk shop too often on here, but occasionally something comes up around our house that coincides with my School Pyschology World. (I'll get to that in a minute!) I was trained to diagnose and treat a multiplicity of childhood disorders; however, ADHD was my specialty. While in Mississippi, there were very few professionals in any field in the state who knew more about it than I did, and for a while I had a small private practice where I tested and treated children for ADHD.
One of the most frequently asked questions is, "Do you think it really exists?" I believe that there are people who have a set of characteristics that are unusual for the general population and make it difficult for those people to work in situations that seem to come naturally to the general population (like traditional school). We call that set of characteristics ADHD. Do I believe there is something inherently wrong with those children? No, but I do see differences that can make life more challenging if people insist on the child conforming to the norm. My guess is that we would not need diagnoses if people were willing to accept that some people are just different and there is no right or wrong way to do things.
Today my School Psychology training is coinciding with my new position as Stay-at-Home Mom. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and had MAJOR difficulties because of those differences. When we became pregnant with Jessica, I knew there was a possibility that she might share some of those characteristics. Obviously, I knew she would not be exactly like me and that she could even have very few of my characteristics, but I realized from the beginning it was a possibility. I had noticed behaviors in her along the way that set off my "ADHD radar," but today I am CERTAIN she shares at least some of my ADHD characteristics!
Most ADHD kids you meet are very happy, cheerful, sweet, and kind individuals. (I suspect this is because they are so distractible they can't help but be super good natured!) However, most ADHD kids also get frustrated very easily when you try to teach or get them to do something they don't understand, and they can go from zero to a hundred very quickly! In some ways they are just like your average kid.....only much more so! I noticed this behavior in Jessica today big time!!
So what are you going to do about it? As a Stay-at-Home Mom and School Psychologist, my response to ADHD-like behavior in my child is to: Do Nothing...well almost nothing! I never want to have my child tested or medicated if I can help it. There is nothing "wrong" with my child. Perhaps some things won't work for my child, but that is not because there is something "wrong" with my child. (Just so you know I am not against testing or medication in general. I just don't want to use it on my child.) What I will do is realize that my child is not someone else's child and has her own set of characteristics that make her unique, and I will do my best to let her guide me in choosing parenting techniques that will work for HER.
One of the most frequently asked questions is, "Do you think it really exists?" I believe that there are people who have a set of characteristics that are unusual for the general population and make it difficult for those people to work in situations that seem to come naturally to the general population (like traditional school). We call that set of characteristics ADHD. Do I believe there is something inherently wrong with those children? No, but I do see differences that can make life more challenging if people insist on the child conforming to the norm. My guess is that we would not need diagnoses if people were willing to accept that some people are just different and there is no right or wrong way to do things.
Today my School Psychology training is coinciding with my new position as Stay-at-Home Mom. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and had MAJOR difficulties because of those differences. When we became pregnant with Jessica, I knew there was a possibility that she might share some of those characteristics. Obviously, I knew she would not be exactly like me and that she could even have very few of my characteristics, but I realized from the beginning it was a possibility. I had noticed behaviors in her along the way that set off my "ADHD radar," but today I am CERTAIN she shares at least some of my ADHD characteristics!
Most ADHD kids you meet are very happy, cheerful, sweet, and kind individuals. (I suspect this is because they are so distractible they can't help but be super good natured!) However, most ADHD kids also get frustrated very easily when you try to teach or get them to do something they don't understand, and they can go from zero to a hundred very quickly! In some ways they are just like your average kid.....only much more so! I noticed this behavior in Jessica today big time!!
So what are you going to do about it? As a Stay-at-Home Mom and School Psychologist, my response to ADHD-like behavior in my child is to: Do Nothing...well almost nothing! I never want to have my child tested or medicated if I can help it. There is nothing "wrong" with my child. Perhaps some things won't work for my child, but that is not because there is something "wrong" with my child. (Just so you know I am not against testing or medication in general. I just don't want to use it on my child.) What I will do is realize that my child is not someone else's child and has her own set of characteristics that make her unique, and I will do my best to let her guide me in choosing parenting techniques that will work for HER.
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